went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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