This girl is more easily done than said...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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