dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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