You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Walk of Shame today included voting.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
