Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
