Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
