So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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