O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
