My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Vodka?
Forever.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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