One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
