I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
