time to smoke my breakfast
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
