oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
