One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
