please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
