I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
