I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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