her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
