Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sext me about skeletons
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
