Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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