Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
