its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Farmville is her only friend.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
