i don't like sucking hair
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
