I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
