Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
