I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
