It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
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