Come see our sink grown plant.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
