Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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