Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
