I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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