Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
