YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Randomize
