K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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