come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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