i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just puked most of my soul out..
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
