i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
