Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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