Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
