using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
