and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
