she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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