Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
