i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
