I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
