there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
