So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
