i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
