How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
