Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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